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with easy-come self-forgetting smiles
i don't always remember how much i hate my face
i don't always remember how often i think about my lunges wasting breath after breath
finding worth in the company i keep so happy, to feel worthwhile, important, forgiven, happy, loved, so fucking happy
please
wanting to be a seraphim face in the light, shelter from the decadent rain, full of drugs, of blood, of hurt, of rape, of violence, of night after night of self mutilation, of lies upon lies, of broken glass jutting from eyes and mouth, of false doves flying off into the clouds and burning up in the sun
i am nothing more that a tattered umbrella
a quick smile, make you all feel better
mr smiling distance

face in, rushing into clarity
blur,
blur,
blur,
and gone
dissapearing into a shadow on the wall, leaving nothing more than a name scarred into the wood
afraid of opening up my book, and letting someone read my tattered and cried-upon pages
i don't want them to go away, so i never give out an adress
don't stop by becuase i can't handle you leaving
i don't want to let you go
everyone has to go away
death lasts forver
leave me
face in, clarity, blur, out
out, face in, blur, clarity, gone
in, out, in, out
leave
i hope i die smiling
i don't want to hurt you
mr smiling distance

a star in a surreal painting
with false shadows, and dripping moons
a mountain turning into a skull
and a shore-line bat dying as the ocean breaks upon giant flapping wings
vessel after vessel set sail upon the flies and moths
drip
drip, the fuacet turns off and the world takes a breath
plunging out of the water and gasping for something clean
touching the star, a beacon of safety
glimmer so bright
then
dim, decay, forget
the shattered demonic clouds darken and it begins to rain
bloody birds pour down in tourents
i wish i could help you
dangling noose
mr smiling distance

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